The nation was in mourning today as the news broke that Cheryl Cole was ousted from American X Factor as they had difficulty understanding her Geordie accent.

David Cameron held a minutes silence during PM Questions today and afterwards told Gobshout: ‘This is a black day for us all.  Just like JFK, just like 9/11,  people will remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news.'

‘I know I will! I was on the throne, having a shit and a read at the Telegraph when I heard it on the radio.  I’m not overstating things to say my enjoyment of that moment was ruined.’

Ed Milliband joined in the testimony saying: ‘Some things simply transcend politics.  Our thoughts are with poor Cheryl and her family.'  The Queen immediately ordered that the Buckingham Palace flag to be flown at half mast.

Cheryl meanwhile remained philosophical about the whole American experience: ‘A divin giv a fook!’ she said. ‘ But see that fookin poofta Cowell? Ees fookin deed next time a see um’.

 She was also highly critical of her  American audience: ‘Thick cunts!  Canna understand woramsayinlike?   A speak fookin English me like. ‘

Posted In Gobshout News, May 26 2011. Words - The Ginger