Plastic-titted superstar Jordan has revealed she plans to auction off her kids on eBay. 

Speaking exclusively to Gobshout she said: ‘I can’t be arsed with them anymore.  They are too much hard work and very boring. They can’t ride horses or go out clubbing or do anything that’s good fun.  All they do is want sweets and play games and I’m far too old for that.  

It used to be ok when Pete was around and he would do all that boring stuff while I was in the other room writing my new best seller.’

She refuted the accusation that she was not a good mother: ‘I won’t just sell them to anyone.  We will do proper checks to make sure they don’t go to anyone dodgy.  The plan is for OK Magazine to cover the auction and have a four page spread where we swap the money for the kids – just like in the movies.’

She was also at pains to stress that it was Jordan who was selling the kids: ‘Of course it’s fucking Jordan!!  Katie Price would never do anything like that.’

So what price does Britain’s best-loved slapper put on the fruit of her loins?

‘Four grand each.  Or three for a tenner.  But I would also consider swapping one of them for a nice horse.’

  

Posted In Gobshout News, Aug 15 2009. Words - The Ginger