Chris Martin could be in hot water after allegedly assaulting wife Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwynney was pictured leaving Burger King yesterday with two prominent black eyes and a limp.  When asked by passers by as to how she found herself in such a state, she screamed ‘ask my fucking husband!’

Martin, hell-raising frontman with death metal group Coldplay said 'She fucking deserved it.   She ruined my vegetable rigatoni.  I gave her precise instructions of how I wanted it cooked -dark brown, but when I took it out the oven it was all yellow.'



The singer was furious to learn that she had been out to Burger King.  'She had better have polished my Brit Awards like she is supposed to or there'll be trouble.' 

Posted In Gobshout News, Apr 19 2009. Words - Terry