From the darkest recesses of our minds...Gobshout News is not real news. We have to put in this disclaimer to stop ourselves getting into trouble, but you really should get that anyway...
Manu Chao reveals a brand new side to himself by admitting he's always been a closet Mr Blobby fa...
'the night's highlight was the impromptu duet by Lennox Lewis and Nick Griffin.'
'We’re a big deal, serious artists like...'
I’m an expert on everything I am.
‘It’s a shame that they split, cos we made shitloads of cash supporting them on tour'
‘In many ways getting divorced from Jordan and diarrhoea are very similar.’
‘I can’t be arsed with them anymore.'
Man questioned by police following an incident on Fearne Cotton's radio show.
' I've been all over the world and I never met a piece of work like Brian Harvey...'
'They were inseparable as kids... as they grew up their friendship blossomed into something deepe...
'It’ll be great to get my hands on some real boobs again!’
Expenses furore widens
Trout Mask Replica "heap of shit"
'Shameless endorsement'
'I've done the dirty with men, women, animals, everything. I'm a machine..."
I got all my own teeth, I am rich, successful and I am great in the sack.
I’m not so keen on wee chubby one though. He has been on toilet duties since he took the piss ou...
'... with Jacko now 50...can he still do the Moonwalk'
'She ruined my vegetable rigatoni. I gave her precise instructions of how I wanted it cooked...'
'I can’t wait to see my copy of Heat next week to see which exciting places she visits..'
'People at school didn’t like me because I smelt of piss the whole time...'
'I’ve got two white ones... I want another black one to balance it up.’
'I decided to spray-paint a message on this strange metal thing to lay the rumours to rest'
'there is no age restriction but adults must be accompanied by a small child at all times.'...
'I’m going to enter the stage surfing a giant guitar before taking my place on a throne at the fr...
'We thought there was no way on earth the fat bastard would make it to the top.'
...for an encore I plan to disappear up my own arse.’
'...they didn’t even have a busker's licence the cheeky scamps!'
P.M makes a mockery of Clarkson jibes
'Antichrist Superstar' joins forces with R.S.P.C.A.for controversial ad campaign
Mucca mucks in after Corden/Horne/Minogue drop out...
'My diet method is different from all the others as you can eat what you want when you want'
‘I’ve always loved the raw masculine challenge of pitting my strength against another man...'
Tut Tut Michael...
Male fans left horribly confused after ‘lesbotainment’ star’s shock announcement.
'Morris Dancing, bear baiting, hare punching, ELO...it promises to be a cracker!'
'I’ve got no sympathy for him. Who the hell needs a bathroom big enough to play baseball in?'
'the new President threatened to withdraw his candidacy if his musical heroes didn’t play...'
'I’ve got the Porridge box set and I must've seen the Shawshank Redemption fifty times.'
King of Pop set to tour with Irish dwarf...but not Louis Walsh
It’s gonna happen… but McCartney says no!
American legend changes tack...
Sorry to say Axl, but the reviews aren’t good!
The cleverest man and one of the most beautiful women team up for Children In Need.
NME criticised for naming deceased Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein top of its Cool List.
So its not gonna be the same old shit....apparently
Madonna and Guy Ritchie have both said they have never been happier. The iconic female singer sa...
A family from a Malawi village have failed in their attempt to adopt a white American child.
A Lowestoft man is seeking Kanye West’s help after receiving a 5 year ban from his local golf club.
Lisa Marie Pressley has expressed her disgust at Scouting for Girls for dredging up her past.
John Barnes has been inducted into rap’s ‘Hall of Fame’ joining an elite group which includes A...
The U2 singer has finally rid the earth of poverty.
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'You’d have to have a soul as dark as Marilyn Manson’s boxers not to appreciate it...'
Like a gig but not as good. And not because I'm not drinking beer.