The iTunes Festival has benefited from a stellar line up of artists at the comparatively tiny Roundhouse throughout July. Those fortunate to win tickets for the 31 nightly shows have been treated to the likes of Oasis, Kasabian, Bloc Party and Graham Coxon, all for nowt.
Tonight, of course, is slightly different. It's fair to say I anticipated this gig with all of the enthusiasm of an apathetic sloth. ..
...on Temazepam.
Let's get the highlights out of the way.
1. Before approaching the Roundhouse, there was time for a quick beer in Camden. Someone had MGMT's 'Electric Feel' as their ringtone in the World's End. Despite being in Scenester Country, it was still a surprise.
2. It wasn't raining.
3. I got no legs in my Kentucky.
There seemed no possible way of injecting further excitement into the evening and so with a deep, Kronenbourg-scented breath, it was time to set foot into North London's biggest school disco.
I can't stand fish, I've never been able to stomach it. Once, after a deferred ankle operation had left me nil by mouth for 17 hours, starved and without choice, I ate a salmon sandwich and convinced myself it was roast beef. Using the same rationale, Sophie Ellis-Bextor was magnificent.
Arriving on stage in a dress last seen covering the toilet roll in my great aunt's pisser, she made sterling work of first solo single 'Take Me Home', followed by That New One That's In The Charts, another new one, then 'Groovejet' and That Murder On The Dancefloor One. Although received well, from where I was the day-glo caricatures in the crowd seemed more interested in texting and complimenting eachother on their latest purchases from Claire's Accessories than Soph's class-above disco-tinged pop.
Girl's Can't Catch are tortuous, sub-Sugababes electro that would have Old Nick himself reaching for the earplugs, which allows me a little time to soak up the atmosphere (i.e. nip out for an Embassy Filter, hit the bar, wash my hands thoroughly).
The Saturdays also offer nothing special. Initially appearing in raincoats, there's a laughable attempt at raunchiness with their removal, revealing matching ice white outfits. Girls don't have to stretch their aspirations much further than the local Tesco to be like them and similarly, FHM reading boys find them "in their league" which goes some way to explain the occasional baritone-registered cheers.
Padding out their set with a medley of covers including Rihanna's 'Shut Up and Drive', Pink's 'So What', Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl', not to mention the murderous cover of 'Just Can't Get Enough' and a simply hilarious attempt at "we're a real band, we can play instruments" during a cover of 'Beggin''. The whole experience leaves me a little disorientated as, for more than a moment, I'm convinced I'm in a shitty-oke bar with only the contents of Now 71 to choose from.
The Saturdays lack the panache of Girl's Aloud and without a Xenomania-style writing team behind them, the chasm between them doesn't need emphasising. The problem is, whilst GA are on their year-long break, this bunch will be forced down our gullets everywhere.
Oh, and I got ID'd at the bar.
Posted In Live Reviews, Jul 29 2009.
Words - Tony