It’s been some 40 years since James Brown sang saucily about his Sex Machine, Led Zeppelin asked you to ‘squeeze my lemon ‘til the juice runs down my leg’ and The Rolling Stones produced their Cocksucker Blues, a song about a gay hooker in London. This was rock n roll – the fearless, all-using, all-touching cataclysm of cool. This non-stop musical party propelled Mick Jagger into prime eye candy, made girl’s flash their breasts more frequently than Tommy Lee snorted coke and had millions worldwide declaring one simple fact: no-one gave a damn about their bad reputation. 

 

What happened? Did we grow up? Or did we just grow boring?

 

I speak of course in reference to the new rock n roll. That, is, the Camp Rock n roll. It seems the industry which once promoted sexual desire has now been overcome by teenage stars hungry to hop on the abstinence train. The most recent revelation has come in the form of The Jonas Brothers, Disney’s latest virginal offering. Each sporting a uniquely styled silver ring the popular boys have publicly announced their pledge to resist sex before marriage.

 

This latest declaration has prompted other teen stars to reveal their sealed deal with God. Recent American Idol winner Jordin Sparks is saving herself for ‘true love’ and Selena Gomez, ironically hailed as ‘the next Miley Cirus’ has recently made public her abstinence ring, which she asked her father for at the age of 12.

 

Now, let’s not be too hasty to ridicule these tiny Christian virgins. In a business full of extreme sexual utilization it seems refreshing that some of pop’s biggest stars are walking in the other lane. As worldwide teen icons it seems logical to prefer these untainted wholesome stars, instead of their publicly sexual peers. They’re a breath of fresh air in a polluted industry. What d’you mean it doesn’t work like that? Britney Spears did WHAT?!

 

Yeah, it seems ancient history now, but force those brain cells back several years and you’re looking at one home-grown fully public musical purist. Introduced to the masses as the ultimate girl-next-door Britney Spears’ contradictory over-sexed outfits teamed with her childlike virginal persona seemed the perfect combination to parents who couldn’t see past the surface. Well, that was until normality rained down. Britney had actually lost her virginity to Reg Jones, the high school football player at age 14.

 

In addition Miley Cyrus, Disney’s poster girl for abstinence has had her fair share of sexual experiences, despite pledging to save herself. At a recent sleepover Cyrus was photographed kissing another girl, an event that sounds scarily close to a child’s natural voyage of self-discovery. On top of this the 15 year old caused controversy when pictures of her posing partially naked leaked onto the net. Shit, can we put this in the deal God?

 

To tackle this further, let’s focus on the issues with the pledge itself. The abstinence ring signifies an absolute promise with God to keep one’s hands off the opposite sex until marriage, and is often agreed to when the stars are still young. So young in fact that they don’t have a freakin’ clue about the dynamics of sex in the first place. D’you think Selena Gomez knew the full extent of her pledge at the innocent age of 12?

 

So, when these stars finally begin to experience lust, sexual discovery and other perfectly natural occurrences the only option will be to suppress it unhealthily, or be at risk of disgracing oneself, ones family, and of course, God. And let’s face it, disgracing God in America? You might as well torch the American flag, enjoy a civil partnership and become best friends with Michael Moore.

 

There are several problems with pop stars going public about their abstinence pledge, some holding deeper issues than others. Rob Brenner, The Jonas Brothers tour director, sees their abstinence as a way of keeping them grounded, focused and free from corruption. Brenner also worked with Britney Spears and we all know how successful that was, and I haven’t even mentioned little Jamie Lynn’s mishaps yet.

 

Observing these previous examples, the pledge is often not kept. After such a defiant public declaration it’s immediately embarrassing for the pop star in question to break, and often thought shameful by the fans. But hey, everyone gets horny. Isn’t this Holy pledge just as bad a publicity stunt as Vanessa Hudgens naked pics, or Britney’s shambolic marriage?

 

The pop stars in question would argue against such a claim; ‘It's a promise that I made to myself and to God’ says 15-year-old Gomez, ‘I think sometimes people misinterpret that and think it's just a trend and everyone's getting one.’ Assuming for just a moment that it’s only the super serious Christian stars hopping on this publicity friendly bandwagon, we still need to think about the impact abstinence pledges have upon the fans.

 

Since Katie Perry’s irritating number about *gasp* kissing a girl and *gasp* liking it, how many fans do you think decided to have a go on their best mates chapstick? Miley Cyrus’ll tell you - quite a few.

 

Cut to the equally irritating Jonas Brothers wearing their chastity badge of pride and you’ve got an asexual fan base ready to throw in their somewhat stained towel. This could prove worse than you might think. A study of some of the strongest abstinence-only programs by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health showed that teenagers who pledge to remain abstinent until marriage were just as likely to engage in sexual activity as those who do not make this pledge. Even more alarming, those who made "virginity pledges" were significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control. I guess that explains the Spears household.

 

Besides, the sexual hype surrounding these pop stars isn’t that far removed from the original rock n roll antics of their predecessors. Gyrating in skin tight pvc pants and playfully eyeing their lovesick female crowd, The Jonas Brothers toy with their famous sexual restraint as if they were undressing a jester.

Similarly, Britney’s trademark virginal image promoted sexual restraint, whilst her equally famous school girl outfit belonged in the window of Ann Summers.

 

Considering this contradiction it doesn’t come as a surprise that those preaching abstinence are often dismissed or laughed at. Ironically, American Idol judge Randy Jackson is a prime example of this offhand judgement. I say ironically, considering the amount of abstinent Christian contenders (and subsequently winners) on a show filmed in the most Christian country in the world.

 

In the 2008 auditions, 19 year old Bruce Dickson announced how he had never kissed a girl. ‘On purpose?’ asked a somewhat flustered Jackson. Dickson proceeded to explain how he intends to ‘save everything for that one special woman’ and that ‘a real man would rather wait than just do whatever with whoever.’

 

Despite his claims, the judges remained unconvinced. Upon voting him out, Jackson instructed ‘go kiss some girls.’ Cheers for the advice Randy. But the judge has a point. Kissing girls (not to mention the rest of it) is something Dickson should realise won’t make him any less of a man, but will simply stimulate his sexual development. Even Britney agrees, having stated ‘you grow up, you experiment. You feel more comfortable in your own skin’, and this is arguably just as vital as physical and mental progression.

 

It’s the lack of this which strikes the most fear into my cranium. A lack of sexual expression, development and education results in a suppressed, ignorant generation, and the easiest way to encourage this is through the medium of our favourite polished pop stars. We can’t relax when a threat of an asexual generation or a society of STD ridden wrongens lingers in the distant future. Until Disney stands back, drinks a beer and smokes a joint we may be exposed to more outrageously pretty, hyper-sexualised Christians wishing to become Like a Virgin and in turn climb effortlessly up the charts. They certainly play the game well, but I guess that’s just Rock n Roll kids.

 

 

 

 

So...Is Jenni right? Is abstinence the new Rock n' Roll? How old IS Jamie-Lynn Spears ???

Posted In Features, Mar 08 2009. Words - Jenni