Now there is a statement you don’t see every day.  Who ever speaks up for the ubiquitous, much maligned ticket touts?  Hmm?  Well it’s about time someone fought their corner.  I hope after reading this you will come away with a slightly more compassionate view towards them and a greater appreciation of the service they provide.

You were skint when tickets went on sale or missed the boat, but you really want to go.  Well, you know you can turn up on the night to just about any gig and get a ticket outside - and if you show a bit of savvy and don’t let them intimidate you, then you can get a ticket for an extra tenner most times.  You get to see the gig and if they make a ten quid profit on every ticket it is a good night’s work for them.  Everybody’s happy!  It is economics at its simplest, supply and demand - and remember the old disclaimer - the value may go down as well as up; England’s World Cup mis-adventures meant that I was able to pick up two Roger Waters ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ tickets for just 40 quid, as the football left the touts with bundles of unsold tickets. 

Forewarned is forearmed and there are a few things you should remember.  They will try and fleece you if they get the chance and some can be intimidating, so if you don’t like the price or the demeanour, move swiftly on and try someone else.  They may work together to regulate the price, but they are still in competition with each other.  A quiet word and a promise that you will keep shtum can often get a cheaper price, provided you use discretion.

Remember that the odds are in your favour - that clock is ticking and those valuable bits of paper he is holding will soon become worthless.  His sole purpose of being there is to make money.  All you miss is a concert.  So it’s probably best not to let on that it is the gig you’ve been waiting for all your life and you don’t know what you’ll do if you don’t get a ticket.  Nonchalance is the tactic best employed.  I know someone who is wont to stroll by after the gig has started and casually ask who is playing before getting tickets for a knockdown price.  Worth remembering if you don’t mind missing the start of the gig. It is also worth remembering that if you had gotten your act together when the gig was announced you wouldn’t have to shake hands with the devil, as it were, so leave off the attitude – it’ll just get in the way.  So consider yourself forearmed.


There is of course the bastard offspring of the tout, the cyber-tout.  There is no spirit of goodwill or altruism extended from me towards these opportunist bastards. The screw has tightened when it comes to buying tickets since the rise of eBay and it is these fuckers that are to blame.  A few years ago you had a window of several months to buy a ticket for a major festival, now they can sell 70,000 tickets in hours.  The ordinary touts have been a constant during that time so it can’t just be down to them.  So who else does that leave?  Ordinary music fans like you and me, content to fleece their fellow music fans.  eBay, Seatwave, Viagogo, they are making monsters of us all. 

Pick the right gig though and the returns are astounding. A gig you know will sell out, you make sure you are up and online, get the four tickets maximum and then straight onto eBay to double your money.  That is some hourly rate for an hour or two’s work.

I heard of someone employed by the Brewers behind a well known festival who would join the annual clamour for staff tickets with no intention of going.  If they got lucky they would go straight on to eBay.  It must be hard to remain noble when there is a 600 quid plus summer bonus at stake.

You can get burnt though.  When the Sex Pistols reformed last year the hype behind the news story was far greater than the actual interest.  Thus tickets were going for £100 plus on eBay, yet if you were to turn up at the gig you could get a ticket for less than the asking price.

Isle of Wight 2006… a friend tried to recoup her losses on two tickets that she bought off eBay for 150 quid each.  She managed to get £110 and even that was fortunate as the touts were selling them for £70.  One tout said she was crazy for using eBay and that you are always cheaper ‘coming to us’.  There you have it, straight from the scallie’s mouth.  Avoid eBay.  You are much more likely to get cheaper tickets by turning up at the venue; the odds are more stacked in your favour.  Maybe then the parasitic, opportunist bastards will get the message and refrain from trying to fleece fellow music lovers, hopefully after getting their fingers burnt. 

If you miss the public sale and want to go, get yourself to venue early where you know who will be waiting with exactly what you need.


So let’s hear it for the oft maligned touts…that irascible gang of scalliess, brigands and ne’er-do-wells.  Hip hip!


Well maybe not.

Posted In Features, Sep 16 2008. Words - Thomas